Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I need water and some morals
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
