i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
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Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
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So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize