I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
