Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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