We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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