Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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