i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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