You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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