I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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