So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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