every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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