Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.