I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
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You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
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I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So much rum. So many feels.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂