"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.