you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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