Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
