i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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