This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
