I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
