Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
