ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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