Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
