Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
