I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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