i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
