I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
