hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize