she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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