stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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