She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
