and you said cock pushups were impossible
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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