He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
