he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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