After last night, I could never be a politician.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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