YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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