Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
