I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
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Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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