She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
