it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
