im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
