You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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