I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
