Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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