My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
