Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize