whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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