so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I love having hate sex.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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