I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize