i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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