how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?