I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.