I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There's always time for handjobs
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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