so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
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Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
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After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY