Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
