i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
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