i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
