please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I checked into jail on foursquare
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading