Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
