I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
