Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
