I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
