i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
