Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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