God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
