so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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