I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
