youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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