he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
